


Emotions

by xtwentyonepilotsx



Category: Twenty One Pilots
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-06-25
Updated: 2015-06-25
Packaged: 2018-04-06 01:11:18
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,468
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4202238
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/xtwentyonepilotsx/pseuds/xtwentyonepilotsx
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Um I don't really know if I like this or not but here you go :)</p>
    </blockquote>





	Emotions

**Author's Note:**

> Um I don't really know if I like this or not but here you go :)

Tyler always found himself planning out how he was going to act. Not really what he was going to do in a certain situation, but what he was going to feel or what emotions he should be feeling.

It wasn’t something that he really thought about; it naturally happened.

Even as a young kid he never questioned it because it was normal. He was used to it. Being homeschooled for a long time didn’t help much either. There were never any social expectations placed on him everyday, no-one constantly watching his every move. No-one ever really told him what was normal and that was okay.

It allowed him to chose who he wanted to be. It let him do whatever he felt right. And that was something most people only dream of.

But the thing was...he had just started regular school. A public school filled with gross smelly teenagers who were most definitely getting into all sorts of trouble.

He wasn’t like anyone else there. Everyone else had their “groups” of friends from previous years in school and no-one seemed to be remotely similar to Tyler.

For the first few weeks he just watched other people. He realized that no-one else ever really just sat down and thought. Anytime that they were not in classes they were all talking to their friends or running off to smoke or get laid.

Tyler told himself that he wouldn’t ever talk to those kinds of people. Well, unless he needed to. And if he did then he would try to appear quite nonchalant and disinterested in seeing and talking to them. You see, planning out what he was going to be feeling gave him more control. While everything else might go wrong he would know what to feel. If he didn’t plan it out he wouldn’t know what to think. He would be lost. It was his anchor, and he was okay with that.

* * *

The first time he saw Josh, he didn’t know what to feel. Tyler had just walked out of his second to last class of the day and had unknowingly bumped into someone else.

The first thing he noticed about the kid was his hair. It was bright red in color. The second thing he noticed was that he had never seen this person before. Anywhere. And that scared Tyler a little because he didn’t know what to do. He hadn’t planned anything out for this conversation that was about to begin. He didn’t know if he should feel surprised or even sorry for running into the kid because he hadn’t had time beforehand to decide. Tyler just sort of stood there unable to formulate any words.

“I’m Josh” The kid spoke up realizing after about a minute that Tyler wasn’t going to say anything to him. Josh looked at him expectantly clearly waiting for a response.

“T-tyler” He squeaked still slightly unsure of what he should do. “Um,” Tyler paused, “imsorryforrunningintoyou.”

“It’s fine, nice to meet you Tyler” Josh smiled and responded calmly. He had thankfully ignored how fast Tyler had spoken. “I have to go to class, but I will see you around” He said after another minute passed by.

“Bye” Tyler mumbled before also turning away to head to his last class.

The rest of the day dragged on forever even though it was only an hour. By the time Tyler got home he was thoroughly exhausted.

He grabbed a snack and headed up to his room. Deciding that he didn’t really care about the homework that he was assigned today, he pulled out his laptop and scrolled through tumblr until his mom called him down for dinner.

While he was sitting in bed that night Tyler’s thoughts returned to Josh.

Tyler decided that Josh was really cute. Like really really cute. Really really really cute. And that was new. Tyler never thought of people as cute or attractive. Ever. In fact he hasn’t even ever had a crush on anyone.

There was just too much uncertainty in liking someone. How on earth are you supposed to plan everything out if you see that person so often.

Or like the “butterflies” people get in their stomachs when they think about people they like. You don’t have any control over that feeling, and Tyler didn’t like that. His one constant control would be gone.

So no. Tyler didn’t like Josh. Or at least he didn’t like the idea of liking Josh. That was a big no for him.

Before falling asleep Tyler made sure to plan out his next conversation with Josh, whenever that would be. He seemed like a nice enough guy. As far as Tyler could tell, he wasn’t really like any of the other stupid people at school. That was good.

* * *

“Hi again Josh.” Tyler smiled at him as they passed in the hallway on the way to lunch. He needed to seem happy to see Josh but not overly excited.

“Oh hey Tyler!” That threw Tyler off a bit. Josh seemed really excited to see him. Should he seem more excited then? But that would change his plan. At least for now he was going to stick by that. Again he needed that control, it made him feel so much more confident and just better in general.

“How are you?” He inquired making sure to keep the exclamation points that were in his head out of his voice.

“Great now that I’ve seen you again” Josh said cheesily and unaware of how much that threw Tyler off. “And you?”

“Pretty good...” He trailed off not really sure of what to say. His earlier confidence had quickly disappeared. Josh threw him a concerned look.

“Hey are you okay?” He asked in a much lower tone so that other people in the hallway were not able to hear “Do you want to talk about anything?”

“I just… I don’t-” Tyler stopped talking as a few other people walked right by them. Tyler jumped as Josh grabbed his arm and starting walking towards the front of the school. “Where?”

“You’ll see” Josh gave him a comforting smile before continuing to weave through a small crowd of people who were lingering in the hallway.

* * *

What on earth was he supposed to do. He had no plan, and no idea of why he had let Josh drag him outside to this treehouse thing. It was really cool and he couldn’t help but he surprised and also...happy? It felt so strange and different to just let himself feel happiness without having to tell himself to be happy.

The two of them just sat there in the treehouse, outside of the school, for the longest time. After a while, Josh spoke up. “So...whats going on?”

Letting the small smile slowly fade from his face, Tyler really thought. About quite a few things. He may not have been speaking out loud, but he was pretty sure that Josh understood as he stayed quiet for the next few minutes.

Why did feeling things without planning them feel...nice? Maybe Tyler did really think about some things a bit too much. Maybe you aren’t supposed to know exactly what is going to happen all the time. So many things are factors in what will happen in different scenarios and maybe sometimes you need to just go with the flow.

For the first time in Tyler’s life he told someone about his planning. He let someone into a part of his life that was so personal that he thought that Josh might just get up and leave because it was so weird. Tyler didn’t really know why he did it. He didn’t know Josh at all, but something about telling someone made him feel just a bit better. Even if Josh was going to just walk away.

He carefully watched Josh’s expression as the conversation progressed. Instead of seeming weirded out or super confused, Josh simply seemed to understand.

And that was truly unbelievable to Tyler. He had always thought that nobody could possibly think what he thought wasn’t weird or creepy in some way.

When Josh hugged him, Tyler didn’t know what to do. He just sort of froze until Josh’s arms reluctantly let go of him.

“Thanks for telling me”

“Um… thanks for letting me tell you and not leaving or anything...”

“Why would I have left? You were brave enough to tell me something really personal that plays a big part in your life and all I can think of is how amazing that is...” Josh smiled at him again, and Tyler felt those butterflies in his stomach. The ones that he hated because they meant that he was not in control.

But it was okay. Because Josh made them appear. And Josh understands.

  
That was good. 


End file.
